i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
