i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
