On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
