It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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