My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
