its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
