bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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