Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
