I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Is it because I queefed?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
