Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
