That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
