his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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