so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Randomize
