I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
