Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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