The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
