youre lurking in front of me
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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