I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
