I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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