8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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