3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
