3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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