Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
