i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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