Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I could fuck to npr.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
