Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
lets start a swedish sibling band together
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
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