I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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