You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
