I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
