i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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