the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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