Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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