haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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