Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
