You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
