Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
