The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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