Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
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