That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
