Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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