used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
