i wish my penis had a tongue
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
