i'm signing you up for texting rehab
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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