I accidentally burped into my bong.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
well, you know. whores of a feather.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
