I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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