a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
