It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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