I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
