Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
