Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
