how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
